


What if

by thistvgirl



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-12 16:36:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15999146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thistvgirl/pseuds/thistvgirl
Summary: What should have had happened after Ian left Mickey at the border





	What if

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so this is my first work in english so I hope you'll like it, If I made some mistakes don't hesitate to tell me.
> 
> And don't worry this fic will have a happy ending

It's exacltly been 5 months, 2 weeks and 6 days, meaning 172 days, he knows that because he's been counting the days since he made the worst mistake of his life. Looking up from his bed he can see the little calendar that he set up on his wall since that day. Crossing another day on it. Wonderful, he thinks bitterly.

That's when Fiona decides to enter the room.

"Hey, you're up ? You're doing okay ? Haven't seen you in awhile"

"Yea, I'm okay"

"You sure ? You seem a little tired to me. Did you take your meds ?"

And there it is, the question he knew would come.

"Yes, I've taken my meds for fucks sake ! Why can't I be down for a little while ? Why can't I just be sad for a little while ?" He asks feeling resentful. Feeling trapped he decides that it's time for him to go out.

"I'm going out." he says while picking up some fresh clothes from the floor.

"Would you at least tell me what's going on ?" she asks with worry in her voice.

"No, I need to leave. He says while running downstairs ending in the kitchen.

"C'mon, you've been weird since you came back from that long shift. Did something happen ?"

"Nothin happened, I promise." He touches his face. "Look, I promise I will explain everything to you later. But for that I need to think straight. Okay ?"

"Okay"

And just like that he was gone. Leaving Fiona more confused than ever. Her Ian, that she pratically raised was now becoming a complete stranger. Guess she should have seen it coming, he was always secretive and the little he tell, he told Lip. Maybe she should give him a call then.

"Hey !"

"Hey Fi, you're okay ?"

"Yea, I'm okay." She sighs. "But I need to ask you something"

"Go ahead"

"Okay, do you know what's going on with Ian ?"

"What do you mean ?"

"It's just... He always looks so sad, like he just lost something important"

"You do know that Monica died right ? It could be some sort of fucked up grief. I mean he was always the closest to her."

"...Maybe you're right, but can you talk to him, to know for sure ?"

"Sure"

"Okay, bye, love you."

"Love you too."

No way he was going to tell her the true. She's just gonna judge him even more about how it was a terrible decision to have made in the first place.

A 40 minutes walk and that's how he finds himself outside of the Fairytale. His brain must hate him if it decided to come back here. Reminding him of the army, the mania, the drugs and...Mickey.

He decided to go in and sit at the bar, after all mabye he can find someone decent enough to fuck.

"What can I get you ?"

Ian looked up and saw a young teen, barely older than 15. That really shouldn't suprise him with everything he saw happening in this club. But it still did.

"An OJ-Jack Daniel please."

"Weird choice. I like it"

That voice. He could recognise that voice anywhere

"Mick ?"

"Hey, Firecrotch"

 

 

 

And there he was, Mickey Fucking Milkovich

A part of him wanted to believe that it was really him but another couldn't wrap his head around it. Isn't he supposed to be in Mexico ?

Maybe his meds aren't balanced anymore, and his brain decided to fuck with him.

"No, it's not him, you're just hallucinating" he wispers to himself while standing up to leave.

"Hey, what are you doing ?" he asks while taking his wrist "C'mon, sit."

"You're real ?" He says a little smile in his voice.

"Yea I'm real man." He rubs his neck.

"What are you doing here ? Why are you not in Mexico ? Did the cops caught you ? How are you not in jail ?"

"Hey, calm down." He sligtly laugh "I was in Mexico but they found me after two weeks there. So they put me back in the can but for some reason Sammy changed her statement so they dropped the charges and also the charges for escaping since they said I shouldn't have stayed that long inside in the first place."

"Oh, that's great !" he says eagerly "So, what are you doing here ?"

"Honestly, I just came here for a fuck."

"Oh...okay." He said looking dissapointed.

"Oh c'mon, you can't say that's not why you here either"

"Yea, you're right." He leans to his ear. "But you can't say that you want them as much as you want me." He hooks his finger on his belt, feeling his cock hardening. "So ? Tell me I'm right."

"Mmm." He closes his eyes felling Ian biting on his neck

"Say it."

"You're right." He gives but pulls away almost immediatly . "But this, us." He shows the space between both of theirs bodies "Can't happen." And with that, he left.

Two glasses of vodka down.

Seeing Mickey really trew him off, he thought he will never get the chance to see him again. But seeing him reminded him of how much he loves him and how much he hurted him.

He goes down to the kitchen, trying to find another bottle but he finds Lips instead.

"Hey, you're home."

"Yea, I just came back from Sierra's, the commute was hell."Lip says sitting on a chair that is by the kitchen table.

"OH LIP GALLA...GHER IS IN LOVE, that's soooo cute." He said leaning into Lip's chair.

"No, wait, what ?""Are you okay, man ?" And now that he actually take a look at his brother he could clearly see that his eyes were red, like he's been crying. And with his slury speaking he's also pretty sure that he has been drinking.

"Yea, Yea, I'm kay, it's just..." He stands there like he forgot what he wanted to say.

"C'mon man, sit." He shows the chair next to him. And Ian sits in it.

"So what's happening ?"

"I miss him, so much." Ian felt the tears rolling down his eyes but couldn't be bothered to wash them away.

"Who ? Trevor ?" Trevor and Ian had broken up since he came back from Mexico, nonetheless Ian had tried to be friend with him, but apparently Trevor already had too much friends.

"No, not that dick." Lip chuckles at the nickname.

"Mick."

"Mick, as in Mickey Milkovich ?" He asks even tough he already knew the answer.

"Yes." He mumbles.

"So, you miss him ? So that's why you've been so mopey lately ?"

"Yeppp. I left him...and now he doesn't want me. Of course, he doesn't want me, I FUCKING LEFT HIM !" He can't seem to be able to breath anymore. Tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Hey, come here." Lip open up his arms for him and Ian acceptes his embrace.

"I just want to wake up with him, cook him breakfast, and suck his dick."

"Whoa, whoa, stop, I don't need to know about your weird sex life." Ian chuckles at that.

"It's not weird, it's normal." Ian smiles.

"Yea whatever..you and Mickey Milkovich is always gonna be weird to me." Ian smiles and let go of Lip. "You probably should go to sleep man."

"Yeah, you're right." He stands and walks to the stairs.

"Hey, Ian." Ian turns to him. "You're gonna get him back."

"Thank you Lip."

Laying here on his bed, he couldn't do anything but think. Falling miserably at falling asleep

What if he went to Mexico with him ? Then maybe they would have been happy together.

He really shouldn't have left him there, all alone, abandoned, by Ian, again. He's really a terrible person. Of course he didn't want him.

He'll be lucky if he even gets Mickey to talk to him.

That's it he's gonna apologize to him. And then let him be, he deserves that much, he deserves better that Ian.

 

 

 

A loud knock was heard in the house. Waking up Mickey.

Whoever the fuck tought it was okay to wake him up at 5 am was a fuckface.  
He tried to go back to sleep but the knocking just kept on going.

"Whoever you are, you made one stupid mistake to co...."

He stopped dead in his tracks, seeing Ian looking like a mess. His eyes red from the lack of sleep. His clothes were clearly the same he wore last night, plus a little bit of vodka smell.

"Hey, you're okay ?"

"Yea, but can I come in?" His eyes were looking down at the ground.

"What ? No ! What are you doing here ? It's fucking 5 am !" He asks surprised.

"I know, I'm sorry but I really wanna talk to you. And I promise you after that I'm not gonna bother you again. So ? Can I come in ?" He finally looks up to see a beautiful sleepy Mickey.

"Yea, okay, whatever." He caves. Like he always seems to do when it comes to Ian. Ian comes in the house and sits on the right side of the couch. He secretly hopes that Mickey will sit right next to him. But he doesn't show he's dissapointed when Mickey decides to sits on the opposite end of the couch.

"So ? What do you want to talk about ?" Mickey arches his eyebrows in the way only he can.

"Right..." He pauses thinking of how he wanted his apology to be like. Finally he bites the bullet. "I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for leaving you like that."

"The first time or the second time ?"

"Both, but especially the first time, you were so good to me."

"You don't have to do that." Mickey wasn't sure if he was ready to have this talk.

"No, I do, I owe you that much."

"I just did what was right, as your boyfriend, you know ?"

"Yea, I know and I shit on that and that wasn't fair to you." He took a deep breath preparing himself for what he's about to say. "All the effort you did, like taking care of me when I was on my lowest, forgiving me for all the bullshits I pulled like the porn. And the fact that you came out in front of Terry. I never appreciated them like I should have, those were real sacrificies that you did, for me."

"Ian..."

"Anyway." Ian pretended he didn't hear him so that he could finish. "I also want you to know that you're a really great guy, and I know you don't believe it but you were the best boyfriend I ever had. I mean my other exes, they don't even come close to how great you were. And that's why I'm gonna leave you alone from now on, you deserve to be free of me and find someone better, someone who can show you much they love you, like I never did."

"Thank you." Mickey couldn't believe what he just heard, no one ever talked to him like that, like they actually cared about him.

"And for your record you deserve better too and I know you may not believe it either."

Ian smiles.

"Anyway, I think I'm gonna go now." He stands from the couch. But Mickey grabed his wrist. Feeling Mickey's warmth Ian turns around, a questioning look on his face.

"Euh sorry but do you maybe, would want to stay here." Waiting for Ian answer's, Mickey feels himself starting to regret his question.

"I would love that." Ian smiles widely.

 

 

 

Ian felt good, Mickey and him spent the early morning watching the first Die Hard and getting high.

They decided it would be best if they would try to be friends since they didn't wanna lose each other.

But friends ? Ian wonderes if that could actually work. They've never been friends if he actually thinks about it, they went from accquaitances, to ennemies, to fuck buddies, to more and then to nothing.

 

Ian was worried, after their get together a few weeks ago, Mickey hasn't called or even texted for that matter. That's not what friends do right ?

And he's even more worried knowing that his birthday is next week and he doesn't know if he should invite him, what if he doesn't want to see him, that's why he doesn't text right ?

Okay Ian, you're on a loop right now. Just breath.  
It doesn't hurt to ask right ?

To Mick

11:25

_Hey it's Ian. I don't know if you want to talk to me but I'm doing my birthday next week at the Alibi with my family and some co-workers. So I was wondering if you wanted to come._

 

Mickey was working on his night shift at the bar he was working at, when he felt his phone vibrating on his back pocket, reaching for it, he felt suprised when he saw that Ian texted him. He really wish he could have seen Ian at least once these past few weeks but after getting this job, his spent most days only working and sleeping. And if he's not working, he's trying to get in touch with Sveltana in hope to see Yevgeny.

 

From Mick

11:30

_Yea, of course man._

 

Ian was at the house with Fiona, they were cooking the food and the cake.

"So, I have something to tell you." Ian really wanted to tell her about Mickey being back and their sort of friendship so that the party wouldn't be awkward is she run into him.

"Okay, what's up ?"

"Mickey is out of Mexico." he says simply, not wanting to drag this more than it has to.

"What do you mean ? He was in Mexico ?"

"Yea that's where he escaped."

"Okay. But how do you know all of that ?"

" Well, do you remember when things were shaky with Trevor ?"

"Yea." She wanted to see where this conversation was going, even though she thinks she already knows.

"Well the reason why it happened was because I went with Mickey at the border. So that's how I know. I was with him." He wanted to make sure that she understood because he really didn't want to repete it. "And I also know he's out of Mexico, because I saw him, here, in Chicago."

"Oh, you saw him, and how do you feel about it ?"

Ian was surprised that she actually asked about her feelings without feeling like she was babying him.

"I don't really know." he says pensive, "but we are trying to be friends, so he's coming to my birthday tonight. I wanted to tell so you wouldn't be caught off guard if you saw him."

 

Ian was at the bar talking to Fiona and Debbie, he looked carefree like that, he felt good to see him like this, but he also felt sad that Ian could be happy without him. Maybe he was right, maybe this wasn't him anymore, and plus he couldn't have left his family behind, Mickey was stupid to think that he would leave his entire life that he has here, just for him.

"Hey, happy birthday man !" He came up between them, he was really nervous seeing Fiona, knowing how she just sees him as a Milkovich dirtbag but he decided to man up, and came up up to them.

"Mickey ?" Debbie asked, her eyes wide open in shock.

"Yep, that's me, you okay pepermin patty ?"

"Yea, it's just, you're here ! I can't believe what I'm seeing !"

"That's what I thought when I saw him too." Ian says with his wide smile just happy to see Mickey.

"You knew ?"

"Yea, that's why he's here, I invited him. But honestly I tought Fiona would have told you." He says pointing at Fiona.

"You knew too ? Do I even matter to you guys ?"

"Sorry but I really tought she would tell you."

"And couldn't you tell me yourself !'

...

As Debbie was arguing with Ian and Fiona, a man came up to Mickey.

"You look like you might use a beer."

He was handsome, Mickey could see that. He had bright green eyes and a good tan, that pretty much say that he's used to going on vacation. What a man like this was doing in the shitty Alibi was beyond him.

"What do you want ?" Mickey chose to ignore his question.

"What do you mean ?"

"I mean what does a non-southsider want ?"

"Ah okay, I'm here for Ian, I'm his co-worker." He holds his hand "I'm Jack."

He takes his hand, "Mickey."

"Nice to meet you, Mickey, by the way how did you I'm not from here ?"

"Your tan, no one here can afford vacation. And now I also see that you have a smooth skin, no tattoos nor scars."

"Is that a compliment ?"

"Might be."

Mickey didn't know if he was ready to date yet, after what happened with Ian he didn't know if he could trust someone like that again, and that wouldn't really be fair for the the other guy.

"But just to be honest, I don't want a boyfriend, maybe a fuck or even a friend, but a boyfriend is never gonna happen."

"Are you sure ?" Seing as Mickey didn't respond. Jack continues. "Well then I'm gonna make you like me."

"Is that so ?"

"Yea you're handsome enough, and I really like your tatoos." He says pointing to his hands.

"So you just want to rebel against your parents. " Mickey says arching an eyebrow.

"No, no, no, of course not." Seeing Jack panick Mickey giggled.

"I'm just kidding. You should have seen your face tho, all red and shit."

"Oh, okay." He says with a little relieved smile.

 

"Hey Lip can you like eardrop on them or something ?"

Ian has been watching Mickey and Jack talk and even flirt for the past twenty minutes. He couldn't help but feel jealous even if he knew he's not supposed too.

"I told you that you're gonna get him back, but I'm sure as hell that that's not how it's going to happen."

"I'm not trying to get him back, I just wanna know if Jack is good enough for him."

"Yea sure."He rolles his eyes.

"Whatever, can you do this ?" He asks with his puppy eyes.

"And why would I do this ?"

"Because you love your little brother."

"Okay, I'm going." He sighs. "But you own me a favor."

 

"And this jerk told me that I couldn't beat him, in my own house. So i made him sat down his ass on the couch, I gave him a controleur and bet him seven hundred that I could win this game."

"So you won ?"

"Well let's say that I took some day off of work. And you ?"

"What about me ?"

"What about your life, I feel like I've talked about my job, my crazy ass friends, Is it me or you don't like to share ?"

"Oh man, I promise you, you don't wanna know about my life."

"I'm sure I do."

"You don't."

"Well then, I tell you something, you tell me the thing that you think will trow me off the most, then if I stay, that will prove you that you can trust me."

Mickey could actually see himself be friends with him, he seemed more like a southsider than an northsider, it make sense since apparently he lived here until he was about fourteen when his parents decided to upgrade, so maybe he could understand Mickey, at least the easiest part of his life.

"I spent some times in jail."

"I did too." He smiles. "See, nothing to be afraid of."

"Yea I guess."

 

"So ? What were they talking about ?"

"Well, Jack told some story about a bet where he asked for seven hundred dollar nontheless then he asked Mickey to talk about him, so after a little resistance Jake made him tell him the worst of him so that Mickey could trust, so Mickey told him that he went to jail, and apparently Jack did too."

"He went to jail ? How is he even an EMT ?"

"Dude, you went to jail too."

"Yea but that was military jail."

"Whatever..."

"See, it's good that you went, now I know that he's not good enough for Mickey."

"Do you realize how weird that sound ? Mickey went to jail too, you know ?"

"Yea but... That's different."

"Because everything is different with you when it comes to Mickey Milkovich. I'm just saying, you're just trying to find an excuse to hate Jack."

 

"Hey, everyone !" Lip stood behind the bar holding a mic. "Ian is gonna open the gifts so we're gonna ask you to gather around him, thank you."

Carl got Ian a nunchaku, Debbie got him cookies that she made, Fiona a jacket that he really wanted, and Lip made a sweater where we could read Ian Gallagher rocking since 95, and his cowokers got him a popular fitness book.

Finally it was Mickey's turn, he was a little nervous, after all he didn't really know what you should give to a friend who he's also an ex, there was no guide for that.

He handed him a little but heavy bag that Ian took. Ian felt a lump in his troath when he saw the present.

"Mick, I didn't know you kept it."

"Well, I did."

_"You don't want to slow down a little ?"_

_"Why ?"_

_They were at the abandonned building, Ian was doing his training and Mickey was trying to follow, barely succeding._

_"Because, I want to kiss you." It was barely a wisper but Ian heard it._

_"Really ?" his eyes were stuck on the floor like it was the most interesting in the world. "Because, I would like that too." His eyes finally met Ian's._

_Ian felt his heart racing, Mickey laid his hands on his hips trying to pull him closer, finally theirs lips met, and Ian opened his mouth, their kiss depeened until, they could feel each other grow harder._

_"I think we should stop." Ian said against his lips._

_"Why ?"_

_"Because I have to go home in like fiftten minutes."_

_"Fuck that, I still can make you cum in fifteen minutes." He traveled down Ian's body, unbotonning his jeans. And finally taking him in his mouth._

_"Fuck, Mick."_

_"That was good." Mickey said_

_"Yea, can I ask you something ?" Ian felt his cheek redening. "Can we take a picture ? You look really beautiful like that and I kinda wanna remember this moment." It was only the second time they kissed, and he knew that eveytime with Mickey could be their last._

_"If you want." At this point Mickey can't see himself say no to Ian anymore, whatever will make you happy._

_"Really ?" He couldn't believe what he just heard. He had the biggest smile Mickey had ever seen. And nothing could make him happier._

Ian felt his eyes water at the memory, they were so happy back then. "Don't cry, man."

"I won't." He laughs a little trying to compose himself, he lockes his eyes with Mickey. "Thank you."

 

 

 

"Would you be my boyfriend ?"

They were at Jack's house eating some leftover pizza when Jack asked the question.

"You already asked that yesterday, and the day before, and the day before the day before and the answer is still the same."

"I know but I did tell you that I will make you like me. So did I ?" He raises his eyebrows.

"Maybe." He answers with à shyly smile. "But I don't wanna be your boyfriend."

"But why ? You basically just told me you like me."

"Because... because, I'm afraid that if we get together, you're gonna leave me. And it's unfair of me to say that because of course, not every relationship you get in can end in a happily ever after, but I just had one relationship where I got to deep into it, and then he left me, and that just..." He doesn't finish his sentence, he doesn't want to say that Ian broke him, not out loud.

"Was it Ian ?"

"What ?"

"The guy that broke your heart. Was it Ian ?"

"How do you know ?"

"Well you guys aren't very settle." When he sees Mickey with a questionning look on his face, he elaborates, "I mean the present, and those looks when you gave him the present, we all could feel the sexual tension around you."

"Okay, well do you want to watch tv ?" Mickey really wanted to move on from this conversation. He moved forward to the tv to put a dvd on.

"Wait, can I ask you one last question." He has his hand curld around Mickey's wrist. "Please..  
I promise you, we can watch any movie you want after." Mickey really wanted to move on from this conversation but seeing Jack pleading face, he caved, for some reason, damn Ian really made him soft.

"Fine, whatever."

"Why were you at Ian's birthday party ?"

"What do you mean ?"

"I mean why go to an ex birthday party ?"

"We're trying to be friends."

"Ah okay... So you wanna watch that movie ?"

 

After a few days of Jack trying to convince Mickey to date him, Mickey finally caved.

"So... I was thinking, now that we're a couple, mabye we should meet Ian for lunch or something..."

"Why would you do something like that ?"

"Because, if you're trying to be friends with him I think it would be good for us to hang out, get the awkwardness out."

"Are you sure about this ?" Mickey was really nervous about this, he didn't know if he could really see Ian without being a little awkward, so he really didn't wanna imagine having Ian and Jack in the same room together

"No, I'm not, but I feel like it's something we have to do."

 

Ian was on his lunch break when he saw his phone light up with Mickey's name.

 

"Hi"

"Hi, soo what I'm gonna ask you is gonna be really weird, but you gotta say yes." He says a little nervous.

"Okaay, are you okay ?"

"Yea, I'm okay, it's just... We're friends right ?"

"Yes."

"That mean ? I can tell you that I have a boyfriend ? That's what friends do ? Right ?" Ian felt his heart dropped at that, his hand becoming moist. But he really should'nt feel surprised after his birthday party. "Ian ?"

"Yea, yea."

"So I wanted to ask you if you would like to join Jack and I for dinner or something, tomorrow."

"I guess... but why would you want to do that ? Are you sure you're okay ?"

"Yea, I'm okay, it's just...Jack wants to do that, and I kinda like him, so please say yes."

"You like him ?"

"So what ? I can't be happy without you ?"

"No, not at all, I'm happy you're happy. Tell Jack I'll be there."

 

Ian was kinda looking forward to this dinner, at least he could finally see if Jack was good enough for Mickey. But he was also dreading it, he didn't want to witness Mickey being happy without him.

Tomorrow finally came, Ian was held back at work, so when he arrived Mickey and Jack were already in front of the restaurant.

"Hey, sorry I'm late."

"It's okay, don't worry." Jack respondes. "Should we enter ?"

The restaurant was a classic Italian one, they could see the kitchen from were they were and smell everyone plate's.

"So what are we doing here ?" Ian asks.

They sat on a table, Mickey and Jack were sitting on one side and Ian on the other side.

"I just want to know you, outside of work I mean. Not that we really talked at work but I tought it would be good if we could all be friend. So it wouldn't be awkward between us."

"Okay."

"And also... I wanted to ask, are you gonna leave Mickey's life ?" His voice sounding rough.

"Jack..." Mickey forrows his eyes at Jack.

"No it's okay Mick. What do you mean ?"

"I mean are you gonna break his heart again ?"

"Oh, okay, well, if you really want an answer, no. I'm not gonna leave him. I know I've fucked up, mulltiples time, and I guess that you're concern, and I appreciate it." He wasn't lying he was kinda relieved that Mickey had someone that wants to protect him, since Ian can't be that person anymore maybe Jack can. But he also wants Mickey to know that he can trust him."But I wanted to be in his life since he peed in little league, and he's been my best friend since I was fifteen. I can't lose him." At this point Ian completly forgot that Mickey was also here.

Mickey couldn't believe what he just heard, Ian couldn't lose him, he knew he was feeling like that back in their teenage year, but then the bipolar happened, and Mickey didn't know what to believe. But now Ian looked healty and balance, so what he's saying must be true. Right ?

After that Jack decided to settle on a lighter conversation, so the next two hours they talked about their job. Mickey was listening, he was surprised how they easily felt into a conversation after that awkward beginning. They looked pretty content maybe Jack idea wasn't so weird after all.

"So that went surprisingly well." Ian says

"Yea, I think it would be cool if we could all hang out again."

"Yea, why not."

After that dinner Jack and Ian started to become friend, they would have lunch together, talk about their experience living on the south side. And they also talked about their losses on the job since they both could understand the other. It also felt good to have someone that didn't know about his disorder, he could talk and do anything he wanted without Jack asking if he took his meds or if he needed to go home.

But despite Jack being a new friend he was also Mickey's boyfriend. And Jack talked more and more about it, and how happy they are, and how excited it is that everyday he gets to find something new about him like the fact that he loves pancakes and cherrios in the morning or the fact that he misses his son.

"You know I didn't think Mickey would be like that, knowing that when I met him he was like a grumpy grampa, but he's pretty affectionnate."

Even tough he doesn't want to say it, all of that left an uneasy feeling in Ian's stomach, Jack is seeing a part of Mickey that was once only Ian's.

Ian and Mickey also made sure to see each other at least once a week sometimes more if they can. They establised a routine of getting high together while watching movies. That was the sort of friendship that they both enjoyed.

"So, I know it's not been that long but Jack asked if I wanted to move in with him and I said yes." They were in the middle of a movie that they problably already seen more than five times but they still enjoyed it, Mickey was nursing his beer not meeting Ian's eyes.

"What ! But that's crazy you've only dated him for like ten months !"

"Yea but I'm happy with him, I love him. I never told him but I love him. "

"You can't love him."

"But, why? I told him about you, Svet and Yevgeny, the escape. I told him everything and he never left, he never fucking left !"

"But...this isn't fair, you weren't supposed to move in so soon." He says sounding thick.

"What do you mean !"

"It means it's too soon since it took you four fucking years to admit you even liked me ! And it hurts, it hurts that you've never been this happy and loving with me. And yet we've known each other since we were six. And I really tought that what we had was real." Ian felt tears rolling down his face, but couldn't find the strenght to wash them away. Mickey sighs. He didn't think that Ian was so miserable.

"Man I tought you knew. I'm never gonna love anyone the way I love you, you made me free and I never told anyone but you were my first and yea, I wished you could have been my last but we're already tried and that never worked out so I think it's best if we both move on, even if that's not what we want but I think it's what we both need."

"I'm never gonna love anyone the way I love you, you made me free and I never told anyone but you were my first and yea, I wished you could have been my last but we're already tried and that never worked out so I think it's best if we both move on, even if that's not what we want but I think it's what we both need."

Jack is standing behind the entry door, barely open, he was about to enter when he heard Mickey. Then silence was the only thing heard, for a good minute. So he decides to enter.

"Hey." Jack was standing just in the front of the door.

"Jack..."

"Well I think I'm gonna leave." Ian stood up franticlly going for the door that was still slightly open

When Ian closed the door, Mickey went to the kitchen and grabbed beer for Jack and himself.

"So you heard ?"

"Yep. I heard."

"I love you." He takes a step forward Jack.

"I love you too... But he's the love of your life and he'll always will, not matter how much time we're together, no matter how many dates we go to. It's never gonna be enough. So I'm setting you free."

"But I want you, I told you I'm done with him."

"You only want me because it's easy, you don't wanna get your heart broken so you're settling with me, but I deserve better than that."

He leaves trough the still open door leaving Mickey heartbroken.

 

After his fifth beer, Kev finally notices how much Mickey is talking. Mickey has always been a big drinker so he tought that their was nothing to worry about but apparently no.

"I just don't get it... We were about to live together. Damn I already miss him."

"What's up man ?"

"He left." The alcoohol really was making him talkative, Kev really tought that he was just going to tell him to fuck off.

"Who ?"

"Jack."

"Ah the EMT. You have a type man." Mickey gave him a questionning look, "Southsider with hero complex."

"Whatever. What should I do ?"

"What do you mean ?"

"I don't know what I want, Jack said that Ian's the love of my life, he's a fuckface."

"Is he ?"

"Yes I just told you ! He's a fuckface."

"No, I mean Ian."

"I don't know, maybe, but who knows maybe Jack could be too."

"Well, look, close your eyes."

"What ?"

"Just do it. Close your eyes and think about the love your life, think about the person you're gonna spend christmas and birthday with, think about the person you wanna marry and have kids with."

"I got it. Thank you."

 

Fiona was cleaning the kitchen when she heard a loud knock was heard , but she let it go since she didn't except anyone, and the kids were sleeping so it could'nt be their friends or lover. And she really didn't want Frank to enter... But Frank never knocks.

After a few minutes Mickey decides to enter, he couldn't wait anymore, it's fucking freezing.

"Mickey ?"At lest it wasn't Frank.

"Sorry, euh is Ian here ?" He should have known that Fiona would still be awake, but really the only person he wanted to see was Ian.

"He's sleeping."

"Okay, well I'm gonna wait then."

"You can't stay here. It's midnight, you can just come back tomorrow."

"Oh c'mon, he has a morning shift right ? So he's gonna wake up in what ? Four hours, tops. I can stay. You can go to sleep, don't worry I won't steal anything." He lays on the couch ready to sleep.

"That's not what I'm worried about." He stands clearly surprised. "Don't you have somewhere else to sleep, it's probably gonna be more confortable than our old couch."

"I was supposed to move in with my boyfriend... my ex, so no, not really." Mickey really wanted to punch himself for saying this, maybe he souldn't drink anymore.

"Oh okay, well if Ian takes you back, you can stay... But you still pay rent like everyone else."

Ian being the first one awake he decides to make pancakes for everyone but he stops when he sees a bump on the couch, at first he tought it was Frank but it didn't stink, it just smell a little bit like alcoohol. He goes for the bat incase it was one of Frank's weird friend or whatever. But when he reach the bottom of the stairs he could clearly see that it was Mickey that was sleeping. He wanders if he should wake him up but since he probably should leave before Fiona wakes up, he decided to wake him up.

Mickey opens his eyes when he feels a hand running against his back.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"What are you doing here ?"

"I was waiting for you."

"Why ?"

"Jack and I are over. "

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it's for the best, Kevin made me see it weirdly."

"Really ?"

"Well, yea he made me realize that you're the only one for me. And that I want you back, even if I have to learn to trust you."

"So what ? We're a couple now ?"

"If you want."

"I would like to, I promise I'm never gonna leave again." He leans in to kiss him.

"No, morning breath."

"I don't care.'' Their lips met in a passioante kiss, kissing like it could be their last one together. When they pull apart, Ian wispered "I'm never leaving."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this fic, don't hesitate to leave comments.  
> My twitter: @sagisandrine


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